Social studies tutor, history nerd, expert applescruff, guitar player, poet, lover of all animals,hopeless romantic, quirky curly cue, Monty Python quoter, Bob Dylan song singer, addicted to cuddling and cupcakes, musicals and Motion City Soundtrack fangirling
“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.
They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”
LITERALLY MY FAVORITE STORY ON ALL OF TUMBLR.
How to Have Sex:
- spin around
- S TOP
- double take tHREE TIMES
- PELVICC TTTHHRRUSUUSTT
- WOOOOOO WOOOOO
- stop on ur right foot DON TF OREGT IT
- BRING IT ARROUUNNNDD TOWN BRING IT AROUNNNDDDD TOOOWWWWNNNNNN